Ten Thoughts on Jay Z

You crazy for this one Jman!!! He goes by a lot of names: Jay-Z, Jigga, Young Hov, Iceberg, the Eighth Wonder of the World, or whatever you’re favorite moniker is. For whatever reason, I’ve been listening to a bunch of Jay lately and I need to say these things before I go crazy.

Big Pimpin’ – 2000

Let’s get this out of the way. My actual favorite lyric on a Jay Z song is not by the man himself. Let’s give that honor to Bun B.

“Go read a book, you illiterate son of a bitch!
And step up your vocab!
Don’t be surprised if your ho’s there out with me
And you see us comin’ down on yo’ SLAB”

Hard Knock Life – 1998

I’m not sure how or why, but the Unplugged show is what got me on my recent Jay Z kick. It’s always fun to see The Roots work their magic. I think the whole show is great and possibly Jay at his best. Big Pimpin is about a year old at this point and a huge hit but it doesn’t totally work. For all the effort, the band just can’t quite capture the magic of the original production and it’s lacks the features by Bun B and Pimp C. But songs like Hard Knock Life take on a new life. Without the novelty of Little Orphan Annie being completely sampled, you can focus on how amazing the rest of the song is. The video quality ain’t that great but you should listen on the service you appreciate.

I don’t know how to sleep, I gotta eat, stay on my toes
Got a lot of beef, so logically, I prey on my foes
Hustlin’ is still inside of me, and as far as progress
You’d be hard-pressed to find another rapper hot as me
I gave you prophecy on my first joint, and ya all lamed out
Didn’t really appreciate it ’til the second one came out
So I stretched the game out, etched your name out
Put Jigga on top and dropped albums non-stop for ya, n*gga!

Empire State of Mind – 2009

“Catch me at the X with OG at a Yankee game
Shit, I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can”

The MLB doesn’t have sales figures by team or on a year to year basis or anything else helpful. But, the New York Yankees won the World Series in 1996, 1998, 1999, and 2000 while a legion of Baby Boomers across the country who were raised on Mickey Mantle were entering their late 40’s. Hov released his first album in 96 and his best selling album, Vol. 2… Hard Knock Life, was released in 98. I feel this statement is a little disrespectful to Derek Jeter. The MLB didn’t start tracking individual player jersey sales until 2010 and The Captain lead the league in 10, 11, 12, and again in 2014 during his retirement year. So I’d imagine Jeter accounted for a lot of hats during the late 90s.

99 Problems – 2004

This clip from the documentary shows up on my feed once a year and I never get tired of it. Rick Rubin turning to Mike D in astonishment and saying “I’ve never seen anything like it, he never writes anything down, he just sits there, listens to the music, writes the verse [in his head] and just goes and does it.”

Dirt Off Your Shoulder – 2003

“If you feelin’ like a pimp, n*gga, go on—brush your shoulders off
Ladies is pimps, too; go on—brush your shoulders off”

I’m pretty sure this is the moment that the Girl Boss Era started.

Drunk in Love – 2013

“Beat the box up, like Mike in ’97, I bite
I’m Ike Turner, turn up, baby, no I don’t play
‘Now eat the cake, Anna Mae!’ Said, ‘Eat the cake, Anna Mae!’ I’m nice!”

One step forward, two steps back. Comparing yourself to Ike specifically abusing Tina while rapping on your wife’s song is certainly a choice. Girl Boss Era over.

IZZO – 2001

If I’m going to actually be critical, as alluded to earlier, Jay Z went through a period where he relied on novelty too much. The hook on this song is recycled from Snoop or other’s rhyme slang that felt a little ridiculous at the time. But again, behind the corniness he drops lines like this:

Show them how to move in a room full of vultures
Industry is shady, it needs to be taken over
Label owners hate me, I’m raising the status quo up
I’m overcharging labels for what they did to the Cold Crush
Pay us like you owe us for all the years that you hoed us
We can talk, but money talks, so talk more bucks

Heart of the City – 2001

This may be my favorite Jay Z sample and the song I have the toughest decision on whether the studio version or Unplugged is better. The guitar riff is just so good. Also, props for mentioning Ike and Tina in a non-confrontational way this time.

Girls, Girls, Girls – 2001

It’d be easy to sit here and judge the following

I got this French chick that love to french kiss
She thinks she’s Bo Derek, wear her hair in a twist
My, Cherie amour, to a belle
Merci, you fine as fuck but you givin’ me hell
I got this Indian squaw the day that I met her
Asked her what tribe she with, red, dot or feather
She said all you need to know is I’m not a ho
And to get with me you better be Chief Lots-a-Dough
Now that’s Spanish chick, French chick, Indian and black
That’s fried chicken, curry chicken, damn I’m gettin’ fat
Arroz con pollo, french fries and crepe
An appetite for destruction but I scrape the plate

But then you’d have to remember that Mick Jagger sang this on Some Girls in 1978

French girls they want Cartier, Italian girls want cars
American girls want everything in the world you can possibly imagine
English girls they’re so prissy, I can’t stand them on the telephone
Sometimes I take the receiver off the hook, I don’t want them to ever call at all
White girls they’re pretty funny, sometimes they drive me mad
Black girls just wanna get fucked all night, I just don’t have that much jam
Chinese girls are so gentle, they’re really such a tease
You never know quite what they’re cookin’, inside those silky sleeves

N*ggas in Paris – 2011

@memezar Alexa got too confused..🤣 #Memezar ♬ original sound – Memezar

This is kinda how this whole post feels. Anyways, what if Kanye had never rapped and just came up with sick beats? Like maybe he’s just a more renowned Timbaland or Pharrell instead of a persona non grata.

Keep it Short

There is a certain joy in a music playlist that is a couple of hours long. Being able to just put it on and not have to worry about it until you want to. In the last couple of years I’ve also enjoyed making playlists that are approximately the length of old vinyl albums. Something in the vicinity of 10-12 songs and about 48 minutes. Sure you might miss some classics by an artist but you’re never getting bored either.

But sometimes, there are just a handful of songs that share some sort of chemistry. Years ago when driving my son to little league we would listen to a playlist called Baseball Rock every time. Centerfield by John Fogerty, then Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen, and as we were about to pull in the parking lot the opening synths of Walk of Life by Dire Straits would kick in. We start with heavy baseball in Centerfield, the Boss references it, and then nothing really about the song Walk of Life has anything to do with baseball. But the music video had sports clips in it for some reason and it matches the vibe. Sometimes you only need three songs.

The three songs below all hit a similar vibe. The guitar tone is the first and most obvious connection. In 1992, The Jayhawks released their album Hollywood Town Hall featuring the song Waiting for the Sun. It was their first record since moving to Rick Rubin’s Def American label and they managed to get Benmont Tench from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers to play that great piano line.

One year later, Tom Petty was in the studio for some recording sessions for his Greatest Hits album. Rick Rubin was producing this time, Benmont Tench is on the keys again, and you’ve got another great song. Miraculously, Mary Jane’s Last Dance was legitimately a greatest hit.

There are people who will point out that Dani California by The Red Hot Chili Peppers is also very similar and was also produced by Rick Rubin. But I’m going to skip that one because I don’t like it at all. However, in 2011 Dawes released their album Nothing is Wrong featuring the song If I Wanted Someone. The piano and guitar tone again are very similar to the start of Waiting for the Sun. Somehow, Benmont Tench also plays on the album but not this song.

Put em all together and you’ve got 15 minutes of a great vibe. But while we’re on the topic of similarities. In that Austin City Limits clip, Taylor Goldsmith look like a disheveled version of Rick Moranis. Apparently, I’m not the only one who thinks this.

taylor goldsmith rick moranis

But he’s not the only rock star who look like Rick Moranis. You definitely have to throw Ryan Adams into the mix.

ryan adams rick moranis

Hmm.. what else do we know about these rock stars?

taylor goldsmith ryan adams mandy moore

Ok. I mean, she has a type obviously. It’s possible that she saw Honey I Shrunk the Kids or something and developed a type. What’s that? Oh no…..

rick moranis mandy moore

Super Happy Chinese Buffet Palace

@mulletreview Hot blonde goes to everything ok buffet in frankfort indiana #mulletreview #review #buffet #frankfortindiana #indiana ♬ original sound – MulletReview

One of the better trending video series at the moment is MulletReview doing a daily(?) review of every Chinese buffet he can find until he gets food poisoning. I haven’t eaten at a Chinese buffet in probably 20 years, but there was a time during college and for a few years afterward that it was a mainstay. We were always searching for the best one, eating as much as we possibly could, and feeling sick.

Part of the reason I love these videos is that he is fully committed. This is a collection of the worst looking restaurants that Indiana, Ohio, etc have to offer. The kind of place that you drive by and wonder if any of the businesses in the shopping center are still open.

There are people all over Instagram and Tiktok trying to find the perfect buffalo wings, caesar salad wrap, or local restaurants. What I like about Hot Blonde‘s reviews so much are the recurring comedic bits. Whether it’s the pause on the price reveal, bare feet in the bathroom, or crab rangoon antics, they all add a level of entertainment that’s better than the average person out there doing this content.

I’ve watched maybe 20 of these videos and there is usually a mix of joy at each location discovering the difference and similarities in decor and food. The video above though is rock bottom. It feels a lot like the Pancakes, Divorce, Pancakes episode of Review by Andy Daly. I can’t tell if it’s acting or real existential dread attached to the success he’s achieved and what he now has to endure.

Youtube: mulletreview69 , Instagram mullet-review, Facebook Mullet Review, Tiktok Mullet Review,

When Language Goes Wrong

In a bit of local news, the Camp Creek Parkway location of Longhorn Steakhouse recently made the news for all of the wrong reasons. Apparently, the conditions in the back of the restaurant got so bad (food waste on the floor, roaches, etc) that one worker, Sean Headley, took it up with management to try and improve the situation. However, he didn’t end up with praise:

“When I spoke to the managers, I was like, hey, is it possible for us to get the tools to succeed? They were like this guy is a goodie tissue,” Headley said.

I’m not going to lie to you. When I first read the quote, I thought the guy mixed up his idioms either from the excitement of being interviewed or a general lack of knowledge. But to make sure, I watched the video from the article and he in fact says “goody two shoes”. So what we actually have is a failure by some sort of A.I. transcript generator, spell check, or someone at Fox 5 Atlanta who doesn’t understand the expression.

Obviously, goodie tissue makes no sense. But what does the expression Goody Two Shoes even mean? This isn’t exactly a great example of Wikipedia explaining everything. The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes is a children’s story from 1765 about “Margery and her brother Tommy have but three shoes after their parents pass away. (Tommy uses two of them because he has to go about more often, leaving Margery with but one.)”

From there we learn that “Margery and Tommy’s benefactor is the clergyman of the parish, Mr. Goodall, who takes them in. Soon a rich gentleman from London hears of the orphans’ plight and immediately orders a pair of new shoes to be made for Margery. When the shoes arrive, she is so happy that she tells Mrs. Goodall, “Two shoes, ma’am! See, Two shoes!” These words she kept on repeating to everybody she met, and so came to be called Goody Two Shoes.”

You should read the wiki entry to find out how Margery eventually gets accused of being a witch. But that’s beside the point. Margery, a virtuous, poor, hard working young girl gets two pairs of shoes for the first time in her life. After the book is published, the term “goody two-shoes” refers to someone who is hard working eventually getting something that they deserve. But that’s not what it means now. So how did we get here? About a hundred years later, the phrase “goody goody” became popular to denounce someone who acted overly good or pious in an effort to impress others. Because of the similar wording, within 75 years or so “goody two shoes” just developed into another way to say “goody goody”. That’s some alpha and beta behavior.

Thou Shalt Not Suck

On a September afternoon in 2026 “Beavis and Butthead” is trending on twitter because of the following tweet:

The referenced video and people commenting with their favorite moments just snowballed from there.

Some other good ones

And then my personal favorite from the new episodes

Live at Budokan

Wayne: Hey, Tiny, who’s playing tonight?
Tiny: Jolly Green Giants, Shitty Beatles.
Wayne: The Shitty Beatles? Are they any good?
Tiny: They suck.
Wayne: Then it’s not just a clever name?

A couple of years ago I started listening to Willie Nelson’s Live At Budokan album. Out of curiosity, I searched to see how many different bands had released a live album from Budokan (well over 20). Which lead me to this John Hiatt album artwork. I laughed, filed it under the “that didn’t age well” category, and moved on.

Months later I was trying to find the artwork again and happened to read the Wikipedia entry:

Hiatt Comes Alive at Budokan? is singer-songwriter John Hiatt’s first live album, released in 1994. The album was actually recorded at venues in North America; the title parodies both Peter Frampton’s Frampton Comes Alive! and the At Budokan albums released by numerous artists, most famously by Cheap Trick in 1978.

So.. just a clever name, and maybe, a nod to Hong Kong Phooey.

Cheap Trick, Willie, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Ozzy, Quincy Jones, Mr. Big, and more have released live albums from Budokan. ASIA in Asia is my second entry for favorite actual album artwork.

In an ideal world though, this would have happened and would be my #1.

Chinese Busch

Recently stumbled across this reddit post. Say what you will about the relations between China and Taiwan, but at least they are benevolent enough to let the islanders “head to the mountains”.

Also, username “NASCARaddict24”? As in Jeff Gordon’s #24 car? You’d think so right? WRONG! My guy created his reddit account in 2016 when Chase Elliott replaced Gordon in the #24 car. In 2018, Chase switched to the #9 car. And what do we have here from NASCARaddict24’s post history? BOOM!

Remembrances of Dolly Parton

After Dolly Parton’s death, there were several personal stories or unearthed clips that I found particularly great. Here is a collection.

Gillian Welch: This is one of less than a half dozen times that I’ve seen Gillian reveal anything personal about life before fame. The story is great. The picture of a young Gillian is great. This is just great.

Chris Thile: If you haven’t been to the Station Inn, it really is as small as you can possibly imagine. So Thile is part of the first Nickel Creek album in 1999. Dolly’s Little Sparrow album comes out in 2001. A couple years later (seems like 2005) Thile branches out from Nickel Creek to start playing solo gigs. Imagine you are one of the 150 people in the room to see Chris Thile play mandolin and then Dolly Parton comes on stage out of nowhere. I also love that it appears that Chris didn’t even know that this video existed until someone posted it following Dolly’s death. Here is a second video from the same night I found on youtube.

SNL

It’s also funny that this basically became the premise for Kenan’s Scared Straight skits.

Live With Regis and Kathy Lee: Despite who currently hosts, this what I’m always calling the show. I would normally believe something like this is either scripted or the guest gets the questions before hand. But I’ve seen Dolly do stuff like this so much that I believe she just actually is just that quick witted.

Dolly Parton singing “Mountain Music” with the band Alabama in 1987
by u/JennaElizabethAdams in popculturechat

This is just so good.

I haven’t seen anyone post this next one yet, so let me offer my own favorite moment. CJ’s Landing legend Michael Johns (RIP as well) was on American Idol and made it to Dolly Week. The tree room or patio at CJ’s was about the same size as the Station Inn and I saw Michael play there 20-30 times? before Idol. In 2008, I was maybe a quarter of the fan I am now. This interaction and performance of It’s All Wrong, but It’s All Right started me on my road to an adult appreciation and deep dive of Dolly Parton. I only wish there was a way to get a better recording of this.

Down the Rabbit Hole

It all started with a tweet by Steven Hyden

Which lead to me seeing the image below in the comments

Which is a great joke, but I didn’t remember this joke. So I found the following clip from Zoolander which approaches perfection. Someone added just a touch of amateur editing at the end.

(Source: Youtube – Male Model of the Year Awards Scene)

Which of course autoplays to this clip from Ben Stiller on Conan Needs a Friend discussing Zoolander, Tropic Thunder, and Ben’s early appearances on Late Night with Conan O’Brien.

So as one does, you get curious and look up the planned appearances they spent all day working on.

So I guess what I’m saying is…. I’ve had a very productive morning.

Follow up notes:

  • Signing up for Youtube Premium and not having to watch commercials is probably the best $9 I spend each month.
  • I recently created a Police playlist before seeing all of this. It’s culled from just the first two albums, before The Police had ballads, and before whatever Sting’s doing as a solo artist that I haven’t heard but respect. Available on Apple Music or Spotify.
  • If you are looking to move playlists from Apple to Spotify or vice versa, I recommend tunemymusic.com
  • I joined Columbia House so many different times. The best CD I eventually stole from them was Van Morrison – Moondance. However, in my younger years, when I was actually paying, I forgot to send my card back and received Ugly Kid Joe – America’s Least Wanted that featured Everything About You. I was very mad about this and never took it out of the shrink wrap in defiance.